Skills?

My shoulder smells like cheese. Don't think anyone could appreciate this more that my good friend Johnny Helm. Several times a day I find myself wondering....how can I get this shirt off without smearing Sebastien's barf all down my arm and across my cheek? I've actually gotten pretty good at avoiding altercations with his splooge. One of the things I've mastered since becoming a Mama. That and dodging the golden shower.