Hard Knocks 101

First-time parenthood is not for sissies. Not for lazy romantics who romanticize laziness. It will kick you in the ass when you think you have no ass left to kick. Its main philosophy is that there is no better cure for whiplash than MORE WHIPLASH!!! Except you can't file an insurance claim against parenthood for rear-ending you, then get it to pay for your acupuncture treatments.

You start off fighting the way your life has completely changed. Praying certain things will go back to how they were before (i.e. lady parts). Then you accept it fully...You will be tired forever. Not cute for a while. Completely powerless at times. But full of this exquisite pain, and the kind of gratitude that can only occupy one who is presently standing in the former shoes of their mother, or father, or whoever...

HAPPY (early) MOTHER'S DAY ALL YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE.